As usual, Jay Johnson was running late. He had was slow getting started that morning, and the cold rainy weather wasn’t helping at all. On top of that, his green 1939 Mercury convertible had developed a huge rip just above the driver’s seat, and water was pouring through the growing hole onto his head. Pulling the car off to the side of the road, the forty-five-year old Johnson rummaged through the papers he kept on his backseat until he found an umbrella. He pushed it through the hole in the canvas top, then hit the button to open the umbrella. Shifting into first gear, he eased the car back onto the road, with the umbrella keeping most of the water out of the car. Jay continued on to the Stamford, Connecticut train station.
A script and commercial-jingle writer for radio, Johnson was on his way to New York, a daily commute of little more than an hour. During these trips Jay would often read the newspaper, work word puzzles, and scribbled inspiration for storylines and songs.
As the train chugged toward the Big Apple, Johnson pulled out an old piece of hotel stationary and began thinking about some lyrics for his radio show. The holiday season was just around the corner, and with the success of Irving Berlin’s “White Christmas” and the tremendous impact of blues music during the 1940’s, he suddenly realized that no one had yet tackled this play on words, and jotted down this little rhyme:
I expect to have a colorful Christmas
tinged with every kind of holiday hue,
and though I know I’ll find every shade in the rainbow
this design of mine will be mostly blue.
These lines were destined to become the first verse of the lyric sheet which Johnson would call “Blue Christmas.” Over the course of the next few days, several more verses followed. The song was copyrighted in 1948 and soon popularized by country and western singer Earnest Tubb “The Texas Troubadour.” It was probably Elvis Pressley’s affection for Tubb that led him to record “Blue Christmas” on his initial holiday album. Elvis’ deep baritone voice put the blues in “Blue Christmas” and it became an instant holiday classic.
Though Christmas is considered the most wonderful time of the year by many, it is also a very difficult time for some people. Being alone during a holiday period when family and giving are so important would be tough enough without being bombarded by the happy and joyful nature of Christmas. So, while Christmas brings real happiness to millions, Jay Johnsons verses spoke to those forgotten souls who would face the holiday season alone. (Ace Collins 191-193)
Have you ever had a blue Christmas? Have you ever experienced some form of suffering that negatively affected your holiday spirit? What about now? Is your heart broken over fractured relationship or the loss of a loved one? Are you anxious about something at work or worried about your finances? Have you been trying to make sense of some unexpected tragedy in your life? All of these things, and many others, can cause us to have a blue Christmas. While everyone else is decking the halls with boughs of holly, some of us just want to duck our heads and disappear into a dark hole.
When we suffer, sometimes we feel like God has abandoned us. We cry out to him and ask, “Why me?” or “Why this?” or “How long must I suffer?” or “How long must I wallow in the depths of despair?” Suffering sometimes causes us to doubt God’s power or his love. We think to ourselves “If God really had the power to prevent this, why didn’t he?” or “If God really loved me, why did he let this happen? Why didn’t he answer my prayer?”
If you have ever felt this way, I want you to know that you are not alone. This is exactly how David felt when he composed Psalm 13. He felt like God has totally abandoned him and he doesn’t know why! Whereas Psalm 98, which we looked at last Sunday, is one of the most joyous Psalms of praise in the whole Psalter, Psalm 13 is one of the most sobering Psalms of lament. We don’t know for sure, but David probably composed this Psalm during his years of exile when King Saul was pursuing him. Whatever the precise circumstance, he was certainly down in the dumps when he wrote it.
The Psalm begins in the depths of despair but then the pain rises through prayer and it eventually concludes with an expression of God’s steadfast love and salvation. In the first stanza, we see an inward groan of desperate feelings. In the second stanza, we see an outward gasp of dangerous foes. In the third stanza, we see an upward gaze od deepening faith. Let’s take a closer look at these three stanzas, and may this Psalm help us difficult times—even a blue Christmas.
1.) An Inward Groan- Desperate Feelings (1-2)
The first thing we notice about verses 1 and 2 is that David repeats his question “How long?” four times. The repetition intensifies the emotion of the Psalm by alluding to the fact that David had been suffering for a long time. This was not some momentary displeasure; it was such severe suffering that it made him feel like God had abandoned him.
We don’t know what was causing his pain, but we do know that he didn’t seem like God was doing anything about it. He felt like God had forgotten him. The longer he suffered, the more he felt like God didn’t care about him. His heart was filled with sorrow and he didn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. He was spiritually depressed and lonely.
One thing I love about this Psalm is its honesty. David doesn’t sugarcoat his words; his emotions are raw before God. If someone stood up in church today and said the things David says here, most of us would wonder if the person was even a Christian. We have been taught to say nice things to God when we pray, but this is not what David did. David was brutally honest with God about how he felt. He had finally hit rock bottom, and he wanted God to know about it!
Have you ever been consumed by the inward groan of desperate feelings? Have you ever felt like God has turned his back on you or has abandoned you? Have you ever cried out to him and asked, “How long, O Lord?” Many of us can empathize with David. We have been where he was. We prayed fervently and faithfully, but our prayers have gone unanswered. You say with David “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?”
What should we do when you feel like this? What should we do when God is absent and silent? Well, let’s see what David did!
2.) An Outward Gasp- Dreaded Foes (3-4)
How did David get out of the depths of despair? How did he overcome his spiritual depression and feelings of abandonment? He prayed! He prayed to the Lord! For the true child of God there is always an awareness of God’s presence, regardless of how deep our depression may be. We may be depressed, even to the point of feeling utterly abandoned. But the fact that we feel abandoned itself means that we really know God is there. To be abandoned you need someone to be abandoned by. Even when David felt abandoned by God, he still prayed to him because he knew that he was there.
David’s prayer has three requests: “Look on me”; “Answer”; and “Give light to my eyes.” His feelings told him that God had turned away from him, hiding his face forever. So, the first thing he asked God to do was turn around and look in his direction once again. His feelings told him that God was no longer speaking to him and would never speak to him again. So, the second thing he asked God to do was answer his questions. His feelings told him that his foes would triumph over him. So, he asked the Lord to give light to his eyes, that is, to preserve him and to restore him to full physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
How can we get out of the depths of despair? What do we do when we are in the midst of suffering, pain, loneliness, depression, or abandonment? What do we do when we face danger from our foes? We do what David did, we pray! We must pray consistently and urgently, especially about our feelings of abandonment. We plead with God look toward us and answer our questions.
When we feel abandoned by God, the last thing we want to do is pray to him, but this is what we must do! Remember, even when we don’t see God’s hand, we can trust his heart!
3.) An Upward Gaze- Deepening Faith (5-6)
Well, what was the result of David’s prayer? You may be surprised by what we see in the text. There is no clear answer to his prayer. There is no indication that God delivered David from his enemies. There is no announcement that God alleviated his suffering. There is no fairy tale ending to this Psalm. But even though God did not change David’s circumstances, he changed his perspective. Through prayer, David gained a renewed sense of God’s presence.
See how the parallelism “trust, rejoice, and sing” increases and intensifies the level of trust through outward expression. His response begins with deep trust in the Lord’s unfailing love. The Hebrew word translated here as “unfailing love” is (hessed). It is the highest form of love in the Hebrew language. It is the unwavering steadfast love that God has for his people.
Then David’s expression heightens to “rejoice in your salvation.” To rejoice is to trust with joy. David remembers how the Lord has been there for him in the past and has delivered him from other enemies. His heart is bubbling up with joy.
David concludes the Psalm with the climactic announcement “I will sing to the Lord.” This highest level of trust expresses itself in jubilant singing. Why does David sing to the Lord? Because he remembered God’s love and salvation! His upward gaze resulted in a deeper faith!
When we express our inward groans and desperate feelings to the Lord—when we pray with outward gasps about our dreaded foes—God will grant us a renewed sense of his presence. Like David, he may not change our situation or circumstances, but he will change our perspective. Whenever we are tempted to doubt God’s power or love for us, let us remember that he sent his own son to a sinful earth in the first advent. Whenever we don’t understand why bad things happen to us, let us remember that God arranged for his Son Jesus to take on human flesh and be born in Bethlehem. Whenever we feel like God has abandoned us, let us remember that God allowed his own Son to be whipped and beaten and nailed to a tree so that sinners like us could be saved from hell!
When Jesus was on the cross, God proved his power to alleviate human suffering. He suffered to save us from eternal suffering! He proved his love by giving up his one and only Son. Our suffering is not caused by God’s lack of power or love. Suffering helps us understand God’s power and love with a deeper faith.
So, when you are in the depths of despair and you feel like God has abandoned you, pray! Pray openly! Pray honestly! Pray often! God may not change your health, wealth, or circumstances, but he will change you! God must be our first recourse, not our last resort. Let us put our trust his steadfast love! Let us rejoice in his salvation! Let us sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with us!Conclusion
As I conclude, let me try to put all of this into perspective. Many of you remember when Brianna Maitland went missing fifteen years ago—a young girl who grew up right here in our community. I want you to imagine that your eighteen-year-old daughter has vanished without a trace. You don’t know what happened to her. You don’t know where she is. You don’t even know whether or not she is dead or alive. And even after all these years, there are still no answers. Can you imagine the pain and anguish that her parents, Bruce and Kellie, have carried with them for all of these years? Can you imagine the suffering they have endured? Can you imagine how many times they have prayed, “How long, O Lord?” Can you imagine trying to celebrate Christmas with this dark cloud hanging over you?
I eventually lost touch with Bruce and Kellie after they relocated to New York, but before they moved away, I spent a lot of time with them. I was impressed by their resilient faith and fervent prayer. Even when they felt like God had abandoned them, they continued to wake up every morning and prayed for Brianna’s return. They continued to trust in God’s steadfast love. Their hearts continued to rejoice in God’s salvation. They continued to come to church week after week and sing to the Lord. Some of us are in the midst of terrible suffering today. Some of us have problems that are tearing us up inside. Some of us are being tossed by the waves of turmoil, pain, depression, or abandonment. Some of us are on the brink of a blue Christmas. But I want you to remember this: When the storms of life sweep you off your feet, land on your knees!